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    • WBC Bulletin board:

    Mon
    5
    Jan
    2009

    Tiggyblog

    Weblog URL: http://www.tiggyblog.com/

    Reason for application:

    I bought a World Blog Council certificate at a backstreet market in Kuala Lumpur. I’m beginning to suspect it may not be authentic. I’d love to exchange it for a real one.

    Having recently been reminded of the pitfalls of picking up eronious goods in the sweltering back streets of a South East Asian market, I must sympathise with Ms Tiggy.

    Her weblog seems to be a melange of random spewings from the recesses of her head - reminding me of several Christmas parties that I’ve had the displeasure of attending over the Yule period. I am however slightly drunk still from last night’s tedious social entanglement so I shall approve with gusto…

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    After reading a few posts I realized that Frau Tiggy ist ein Canadian. Thankfully, the WBC recently introduced more stringent regulations for weblogs written in the Great White North but somehow this cunning Frau discovered the loopholes and continues to “write very little about everything.” Sometimes I laugh und sometimes I do not but the blog ist gut und clean. Canadians are not very efficient but, judging from the archives, Frau Tiggy ist busy as a beaver.

    Aproval ist granted.

    Frau von Sauertraut, Cultural Direktor

    Please visit this site and return to give your rating here...
    Rating: 7.9/10 (11 votes cast)
    Filed in appraisals, approvals, observational | Tagged | Public rantings (3)
    Mon
    22
    Dec
    2008

    Party Regulations

    All WBC employees should be reminded to RSVP for the annual Christmas party as schnell as possible. After last year’s incident mit the giraffe costume und the missing waiter we have been asked to find a new venue. Luckily, the Colonel was able to pull a string so this year the festive celebrations will be held in the back room at the ‘Coach and Horses’.

    Rules und regulations for the party are as follows, with no exceptions:

    • Appropriate underwear ist mandatory;
    • Drink vouchers will be provided to staff members only after the correct papers have been submitted in triplicate;
    • Singing carols will not be tolerated in public areas; und
    • For obvious reasons, all yellow party hats will be verboten.
    Dinner will be served at 7PM sharp so all staff are expected to be punctual. Directions und maps are available from Ms. Tutt. Volunteers to escort the Professor home should report to the main reception immediately.
    .
    Frau von Sauertraut, Cultural Direktor
    Filed in office memo | Tagged , | Public rantings (3)
    Fri
    19
    Dec
    2008

    TechnoSamrat

    Weblog URL: http://www.technosamrat.com/

    Reason for application:

    I just want to know if my blog is useful for other people. So i’m requesting you to review it.

    The first stipulation of WBC application reads as follows ‘Please note that if your application does not raise even the faintest glimmer of a smile from at least one member of our staff then the chances of it being submitted for review are as slim as a WBC pay packet.‘

    Mr Samrat has clearly failed to reach this heady height of tittilatory expectation and is therefore filed as invalid.

    This should not detract, however, from his very tidy and well organised technical review site which could possibly bore the trousers off a travelling trouser salesman. This site is invalidated.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Please visit this site and return to give your rating here...
    Rating: 4.0/10 (8 votes cast)
    Filed in appraisals, approvals, instructional, invalid | Tagged , , | Public rantings (3)
    Tue
    16
    Dec
    2008

    Employee of the month

    I am pleased to announce that this months ‘Employee of the Month’ is young Tarquin from graphics for his sterling attitude toward his 7 day incarceration in the vending machine following an incident during a fire drill a few weeks ago.

    Doctors have assured us that the excess weight he gained during that time will soon be shed and the alarming physical shape that he assumed will not be permanent so please remove all ‘Rubik’s-boy’ Post-its from his work station before Monday.

    Thank you for your exasperation.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Filed in office memo | Tagged , , | Leave your opinion here (0)
    Mon
    15
    Dec
    2008

    Stuff and nonsense

    Weblog URL: http://joelklebanoff.com/joelsblog2/

    Reason for application:

    Dear Worldblogcouncil, my blog is a hopefully funny, but funnily not hopeful review of, well, stuff and nonsense. It is of excellent quality, so says my mother. Or, rather, I’m sure she would say that if she had the foggiest of ideas as to how to surf the Web, which she doesn’t.

    Well now. Jolly good show I say. This chap seems to know his onions. Or perhaps shalotts. Either way, the blasted things don’t half give one the wind. The baked onions that cookie served with the roasted woodcock last night have made their presence known in no uncertain terms today. My morning lecture was disrupted on several occasions by the most appalling bout of colic. Not even the timely imbibement of a splendid bottle of Ricardo Penuro Ammontillado managed to settle the tum. I must say that I do sympathise with Mr Klebanoff who clearly suffers from the same affliction, as he candidly admits in his splendid post of 9th December, entitled “Age Compensations”. Mr Klebanoff writes with a verve and honesty that is rare amongst our American friends. Although I do feel however that the neo-cognitive post-processual Marxist argument was somewhat glossed over, and too much emphasis was put on the post-impressionist meta-hyperbolic counterpoint as expressed by Nietsche in his seminal 1942 work “The Onion: Is it or not?”. Yes. Indeed indeed indeed. What what. I can recommend a good dose of Asefoetida & Ipecac, to be taken before meals. Approval granted.

    Professor Wardrobe Gruber Esq, MA (D. Phil)

    Mr Klebanoff’s musings on his life and the World around him need little more explanation than the dear Professor has offered. I do however have very little understanding of that explanation and am becoming increasingly more concerned with Professor Gruber’s mental stability. I’m no stranger to pschological strain - 3 months floating in a water barrel in the South Pacific certainly took it’s toll on me but luckily I had a jar of moustache wax and some dried aspargaus to help me retain my self respect. Approval is granted.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Please visit this site and return to give your rating here...
    Rating: 7.0/10 (5 votes cast)
    Filed in appraisals, approvals, observational | Tagged , | Public opinion (1)
    Fri
    12
    Dec
    2008

    Fire drill update

    Our apologies for the lack of appraisals issued today, as you may have seen on the local news service the WBC is still recovering from yesterdays fire drill.

    Rest assured that we are doing our utmost to bring the flooding under control and we have been told that the water is doing an excellent job of flushing the rats out of the canteen storage area.

    Tarquin has been given the all clear to leave the hospital and will not be charged for the snacks that he ate whilst trapped in the vending machine in the level 6 lobby for the last 7 days.

    Thank you for your lactation.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Filed in Uncategorized | Public rantings (3)
    Thu
    11
    Dec
    2008

    Fire drill instructions

    Due to last weeks abysmal fire drill in which  3 members of staff were admitted to the emergency room with second degree burns and Tarquin from graphics completely vanished we will be attempting a rescheduling at some point this morning.

    Please try to remember that a fire drill does not require real flames or the need to use axes to get through doors.

    Thankyou for your delapidation.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Filed in office memo | Tagged , , | Public rantings (2)
    Wed
    10
    Dec
    2008

    The last visible dog

    Weblog URL: http://delphine-angua.blogspot.com/

    Reason for application:

    I modestly and abjectly crave your attention. Please honour me with your decision, either in my favour or otherwise, so that I may continue to blog under the above name (see which) or, close down my blog completely, having not reached the required WBC standard. The supremely high literary and visual standard of my blog, and the fact that I am soon to celebrate the evidence of peer approval to the tune of 3,000 visits in a mere eight months, should in no way influence your appraisal.

    Your humble servant,
    Katherine De Chevalle.

    PS. Not that I wish to second-guess your decision regarding my recent application to the WBC, but when you approve (or not, as the case may be) please would you customise my sticker with “The Last Visible Dog” instead of the unprepossessing, ‘the author of this blog’.

    Needless to say, please disregard this request if you do not consider my blog to be worthy of your most excellent attention.
    Thank you.

    Yours in humble faithfulness,
    Katherine De Chevalle.

    Unfortunately Ms De Chevalle’s application was so lengthy that we’ve had to apply to our regional offices for extra staffing to cover the ensuing backlog. Never one to be thwarted by a challenge, we turned to her weblog: it is the personal journal of a lady from the Land of the Long White Cloud that throws herself into all her passions - watersports, photography, art and the world around her. Luckily for her readers she leaves her verbosity to application forms and allows her pictures and well chosen words to do her blogging.

    Unfortunately her request for a personalised certificate is to be rejected as Tarquin (from the graphics department) disappeared during a fire drill on Thursday and is yet to be found. Approval granted.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    .

    I’m just glad she hasn’t seen the state of the fridge here as apparently she likes to fossick. There is a very good reason why there are a pair of my panties in the freezing compartment - I’ll just say chewing gum and leave it at that.

    Katherine’s approval is seconded so long as she promises not to go into the kitchen.

    Ms Ashley Tutt PA

    Please visit this site and return to give your rating here...
    Rating: 7.3/10 (9 votes cast)
    Filed in appraisals, approvals, observational, photographical | Tagged , , , | Public rantings (2)
    Tue
    9
    Dec
    2008

    Secret Santa

    Would all employees please convene in the canteen this afternoon at 3pm to rifle through my deerstalker and choose who they will be Santa for this year. Please note that Ms Tutt will be inspecting all gifts this year so please try to avoid shops at the north end of the High Street - we don’t want a repeat of the ‘Miss Hinkleton’ incident from ‘97 (note: always heed warnings that battery powered implements should never be wired to mains electricity supplies).

    Thank you for your desperation.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Filed in office memo | Tagged , | Public opinion (1)
    Mon
    8
    Dec
    2008

    Chit chat

    Weblog URL: http://www.chitchatqueen.blogspot.com/

    Reason for application:

    I love blogging and blog about anything and everthing under the sun that one can chit chat about. My blog posts are simple (in terms of language and vocabulary) and hence form a nice read, more often than not. A friend, suggested I submit my blog here for laughs and I am doing so, because I am idle at the moment.

    Cheers, Popsie

    Blog review:

    Es ist gut das Popsie ist idle at the moment because application for WBC approval should never be ignored, as Vater Papersurfer well knows. The consequences can be severe. This Chit Chat is written by Popsie, a handsome dog whose jowls prompt fond thoughts of the Colonel. Popsie keeps observations short and random, good for those with short attention spans like Ms. Tutt. I find this Dilbert is also funny. Popsie’s friend was right to suggest seeking WBC certification. Approval ist granted.

    Frau von Sauertraut, Cultural Advisor

    .

    A left-handed, canine-lover bringing us light-hearted observations about love, life and the world around her. However she does seem to change her blog template more regularly than Ms Tutt changes her underwear (as our outdated banner thumbnail shows). As we all know it’s very important to change ones underpants on a regular basis - one never knows when one might have to strip down during drill or leap to a ladies rescue in a tight scrape.

    Approval for this blog review has been granted.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Please visit this site and return to give your rating here...
    Rating: 7.6/10 (7 votes cast)
    Filed in appraisals, approvals, observational | Tagged , , | Public rantings (3)
    Fri
    5
    Dec
    2008

    World Blog Council awareness week

    We are very keen on social networking here at the WBC, nothing better than a glass of port and a handrolled Cuban to get someone’s chequebook out of mothballs.

    Of course all members can help promote the WBC with some simple networking activity - this will also bring awareness and readers to your own weblogs. So not entirely fruitless (unlike many things that go on around here).

    Try either Stumbling, Digging or emailing a friend.


    Digg!

    Thankyou you in advance for your lack of lethargy regarding this issue.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Many thanks to the excellent LordLikely for his stumbling abilities.

    The ridiculous Daddy Papersurfer believes a stumble will help his reinstigation at the WBC!

    No amount of stumbling from the repugnant Papersurfer will lift his rejection status.

    Filed in Uncategorized | Public rantings (6)
    Thu
    4
    Dec
    2008

    Total trauma

    Weblog URL: http://www.totaltrauma.blogspot.com/

    Reason for application:

    because I”m trying to give it a new meaning to the word ‘trauma’, and I love to keep changing my blogger name

    I was several posts into this well presented weblog (anecdotal observation and musing, often presented in rhyme - quite charming really) when my aural orifices were affronted by the raucous tones of a popular music combination known as the Beastie Boys. Good heavens - I nearly swallowed my dentures! Loud banging and shouty bits - luckily our new intern was available to find the off switch. That aside this young lady from the heart of Asia shows us an energetic and mischievous viewpoint which should be granted approval.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    .

    Quite honestly, I believe the ‘flat chest’ look to be quite the thing. I can still get into my training bra and I’m very proud that I can. Trauma Queen is a gal after my own heart and her blog is very amusing and brings back a lot of memories for me. I suffered a tremendous amount of difficulty with the lacrosse team when I was at High School.

    Shame about the Beastie Boys though but I suppose she’s quite youthful.

    Approval seconded.

    Ms A.Tutt PA to the Colonel

    Please visit this site and return to give your rating here...
    Rating: 8.2/10 (19 votes cast)
    Filed in appraisals, approvals, observational, splendid | Tagged , , | Public rantings (4)
    Wed
    3
    Dec
    2008

    Weather warning

    Due to the recent spate of bad weather and the mysterious disappearance of all copper piping in the basement the building is somewhat chilly today. Ms Tutt is busy knitting thermal underpants in the foyer and Frau von Sauertraut is roasting chestnuts and some kind of sausage in the carpark. Mr Ern will be serving a mystery broth in the canteen whilst Professor Gruber warms our hearts with a solo recital of Handels Messiah in the auditorium.

    If anybody needs me I’ll be having a medicinal brandy in my office. Thankyou for your constipation.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Filed in office memo | Tagged , , | Public rantings (7)
    Tue
    2
    Dec
    2008

    The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

    Weblog URL: http://lordlikely.co.uk/

    Reason for application:

    I wish to hereby submit my application for my fine web-log to be evaluated by your good selves.

    Of course, I have absolutely no doubts with regard to the excellence of my journals, but I would quite like to receive a certificate to cover an unfortunate stain upon the ceiling of my drawing-room.

    Yours faithfully,

    Lord Likely

    Likely…..Likely…Likely…….yes, yes I remember this chap. Used to keep rooms up on E staircase. No stains on the ceiling there, but the I recall that the state of his mattress used to drive his bedder to distraction. Mucky sort of cove, always getting into scrapes. Rumour has it that he once drank an entire case of 1945 Chateau Lafite in one sitting. Approval granted.

    Professor Wardrobe Gruber Esq, MA (D.Phil)

    .

    Sometimes whilst taking my evening constitutional I ponder the possibility that Professor Gruber may have falsified his documentation somehow (obviously an impossibilty with our watertight screening process) in the same manner that I wonder if Likely is, was or ever will be a Lord of any sort. An overtly deranged mind spouting innuendo based lunacy into the cosmos via the medium of weblogging. These rantings are obviously fabricated from the lurid depths of depravity that only a true narcisist could be nurturing - quite frankly if he ever brings a halt to his incessant babblings there will be a post available here without a moments hesitation.

    Approval granted.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Please visit this site and return to give your rating here...
    Rating: 8.4/10 (25 votes cast)
    Filed in appraisals, approvals, excellent | Tagged , , | Public rantings (6)
    Mon
    1
    Dec
    2008

    Accidental report

    Due to a minor accident involving a paperclip, a cup of Earl Grey tea and a very delicate part of a senior staff member’s anatomy (that would normally be kept slightly below room temperature) all departments will be closed until tomorrow morning. As this notice was posted just after the close of office hours please consider all content to be slightly less than relevant. Thank you for your respiration.

    Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

    Filed in office memo | Public opinion (1)